Is Millennial Dating Advice Just… Bad?
Summary:
- Millennial dating advice often encourages a “subtle” approach to dating, which might not align with what many actually want: straightforward connection.
- There’s a nostalgia for more straightforward social traditions that fostered relationships, like community dances, which are starkly different from today’s app-centric, casual mentality.
- By ignoring the real longing for connection, we might be missing a huge opportunity to genuinely connect, leading to increased loneliness instead of meaningful relationships.
You see it everywhere in the dating world, right? Phrases tossed around like confetti at a New Year’s bash:
- “Go to bars, but not to meet someone.”
- “Go to events, but just be present, not looking.”
- “Pick up hobbies, but purely for the hobby, never to meet anyone.”
- “Just use the apps—everyone’s on them.” (Even though they’re made to keep you swiping endlessly rather than finding a soulmate. Charming, huh?)
- “You’ll find someone when you stop looking.” (Really? Because I’m starting to wonder if that just leads to more cats.)
So, are we really going to pretend this is working? Because, spoiler alert: it’s not.
The Painfully Obvious Reality
Isn’t anyone else noticing the loneliness creeping in like an unpaid bill? I mean, let’s take a moment to think about how things used to be. Remember when communities had community halls? They hosted dances and socials where everyone had the explicit mission of meeting someone. It was celebrated! You could show up with the clear goal of dating. No shame. Just fun, laughter, and potential partners waiting to meet.
Fast forward to 2025, and the vibe has shifted dramatically. There is this bizarre pressure to act casual. To hide our longing for meaningful connections. Instead of embracing our desires, we suppress them. But why?
Well, let’s dig into this because there’s a lot to unpack here.
The Evolution of Dating Norms
Historical Perspective
Back in the day, social structures made dating straightforward. Town squares and community events were about intention. Here’s a fun comparison for you:
| Then | Now |
|---|---|
| Intentional | Subtle and Casual |
| Community Events | Apps and Online Profiles |
| Openly Seeking Partners | Suppressing Intent |
| Shared Experiences | Solo Swiping |
What’s Wrong with Millennial Dating Advice?
Let’s dive deeper into why the current approach feels more like a fast-track to desperation than a guide to love.
Suppression of Intent
- Do we really have to play hard to get? There seems to be this pervasive idea that people should not be upfront about wanting to date. Instead of saying, “I’m looking for love,” we’re told to just “be yourself,” whatever that means.
The Obsession with Apps
- Let’s get real for a moment: dating apps like Tinder and Bumble can feel like more of a game than a genuine method of meeting people. While they do (occasionally) work, the algorithms are designed for addiction, not partnership. You swipe endlessly, leaving you feeling more drained than delightfully entangled.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) Culture
- When social media works against you. You see people living their best lives with their perfect partners, and it’s all just a highlight reel. So what do we do? We feel pressured to get into a relationship without truly wanting one, thinking it’ll fill some void while furthering our misery instead.
The Elephant in the Room: Loneliness
Despite all this supposed connectivity, loneliness is rising at an alarming rate. A recent survey revealed that nearly 61% of millennials feel lonely at least once a week! So, what gives?
- Connections Over Quantity: It’s better to foster genuine relationships rather than accumulating a “harem” of questionable connections through apps.
- Higher Expectations: We crave depth, yet the advice we get is to stay surface-level. Why are we so scared of vulnerability?
A Nostalgic Call to Action
Remember those community dances? Is that nostalgia, or could it be an idea worth reviving? Here’s what we could pull from the past:
Structured Social Gatherings: Just like the dances, hosting intentionally-planned social events would give everyone an opportunity to meet without the cringe of pretending to be indifferent to attraction.
Dating Events: Imagine themed nights that encourage conversation, laughter, and genuine interest.
Communal Hobbies: Instead of doing pottery alone, let’s do it together and also make it a dating activity!
Putting It All Together: Rethinking the Approach
So, what should we do?
Be Intentional: If you want to date, say it! There’s no shame in wanting companionship.
Limit App Use: Treat apps like junk food—delicious but not always fulfilling. Set boundaries for yourself.
Create Spaces for Real Engagement: Reach out to friends and suggest organizing weekly meetups that mix fun activities with the chance to meet new people.
Building a Future That Works
Looking ahead, let’s imagine a world where dating is less about navigating a labyrinth and more about building connections:
- More Community Organizations: What if more towns created safe spaces specifically for singles?
- Events Without the Pressure: Let’s host fun events without the expectation of romantic connections but with the opportunity for them.
- Redefining Love: No more “finding love when you stop looking,” but actively creating environments where love can flourish.
In Conclusion: Dare to Want
If you’re tired of the subtlety and snubbing your inner romantic, know that you’re not alone. Embrace your desire for connection and challenge the narrative that has you second-guessing your feelings. It’s time to shake off the stale advice and create something new.
So, dear friends, let’s put our hearts back into dating and make it less of a guessing game and more of an adventure to share with others. Because in the end, isn’t that what we truly want—a genuine connection over a generic swipe?
loneliness, dating advice, community, relationships, social gatherings, connection, dating culture, millennial dating, romantic intent, dating apps
